Maybe my plantar fasciitis,
newly-flared up,
is karma for the time I stole
some shampoo and conditioner
(and probably some nail polish)
From Walmart
(okay, that happened more than once)
So, one flash of heel pain for each stolen good?
How does it work?
I don’t know when I stopped stealing
(I didn’t find God)
(in fact, I lost him)
But I must have had some moral shoulder-sitter
or at least ingrained capitalism
telling me “hey now, that’s enough”
because I stopped for good
Once I asked a new date
“What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?”
in an attempt to be funny
you know, icebreaker
His answer was probably a 3 out of 10 on the cosmic evil scale
& when he turned the question back on me
I couldn’t think of anything that bad
but I know that if we as a species are good at anything
it is justifying our shitty actions
so maybe I am a shitty person and I just don’t know it
so I asked my friend later what she thought the worst thing I’d ever done was
And she couldn’t really think of anything
I finally got back to my date with “I used to steal a lot”
which is boring
but I added that maybe my heel pain
is karma from a past life
a more interesting life
where I committed tax fraud
Or maybe it is the leftover vestiges of karma
from a truly terrible tyrannical life
hundreds of years ago
which required several lifetimes to deal out
and now the arc of my soul has swung toward “neutral - good”
because my soul is fucking tired
of being evil
maybe I was Genghis Khan
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